America Gets an Economy Increase?!

Posted on May 23, 2007. Filed under: features, gaming, internets, playstation, wednesdays, xbox 360 | Tags: , , , , , , , , |

After a season of gas price hikes, natural disaster, stupid decisions [depending on your point of view], and stock price drops America and the world will finally see an increase in the growth of the economy. Here’s why:

Videogames! Videogames! [and] Videogames!

This summer, fall, and winter will bring the unleashing of the some of the biggest games ever! Oh sure, you say, Videogames will not increase our economy. But hold on a minute, hear me out. To play these games people will need to pay their electric bills [which will be really high due to constant use], they will need to buy gas, food, and tents to camp out a week before the games come out; sometimes even a month or so before depending on the game. They will have to buy a TV to get the full beauty out of their new awesome games and buy the system the games are released on. They will also have to buy TONS of microwaveable food to play these games non stop.

There may be a rise in Unemployment numbers after these games are released but hey, months before unemployment numbers will drop drastically! WalMart and McDonalds will be at its busiest ever and Gamestop will be 10 Billion dollars richer due to all the preorders that were left behind due to another store opening earlier on the release of a certain game. There will be hundreds of more shooting deaths, and not over the last PS3 either. eBay will crash because of constant refreshing of pages and so will the internet.

The next two videogame quarters will be the undeniable cause of World War 3 and the nuclear fallout after that. Japan will become a state of the US and so will Europe. Asia will become it’s own country, Australia as well. South America will not even be a burden due to no one caring about them, well in the videogame industry at least. Because of this the world will be conquered by them, or at least southern America along with Puerto Rico, which would have eventually become a state.

Okay, so now do you believe me? What videogames caused this total destruction you ask? Well here’s the biggest games of the year per platform, remember the YEAR[!]:

SONY PLAYSTATION 3

HAZE

Uncharted: Drakes Fortune

Heavenly Sword

Ratchet & Clank Future: Tools of Destruction

Lair

WarHawk

SONY PLAYSTATION Portable

CRUSH

Socom Tactical Strike

FF I and II

Parrapa Da Rappa

God of War: Chains of Olympus

Syphon Filter: Logans Shadow

Microsoft XBOX 360

HALO 3

Grand Theft Auto IV

The Darkness

Mass Effect

Nintendo Wii

Metroid Prime 3: Corruption

Super Smash Bros. Brawl

Super Mario Galaxy

Nintendo DS

The Legend of Zelda: Phantom Hourglass

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2 Responses to “America Gets an Economy Increase?!”

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….I thought Phantom Hourglass was a DS game.

Oh, I deleted “DS.” LOL.


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